I've been thinking of you because today is the day that our daughter turns 6. She is growing into such a beautiful person. I wish you could see her. Regardless of what circumstances in your life brought her to me, I think you would be in awe of her strength, intelligence, and kindness. So many people love her. She is a light and a joy to everyone around her. I hope you would be happy to know that she has two little sisters who look up to her and adore her. She takes such good care of them! You should see them all hold hands and skip around so happily. She has a mom and a dad who love her more than all the stars in the sky, and extended family who love her to pieces every chance they get. She is so caring and giving, and she has the patience of a saint. I can learn from her in that area, because I sometimes am not as patient as I strive to be. Every once in awhile, she gets sad. I know that is partly because she thinks about you and wonders if you think about her. She asked me yesterday if you remember her. In my heart, I think how could you forget? She has an adorable little crooked chin that is the result of a congenital condition. When she was a baby, we found out that either you or her birthfather must have the same chin in order for her to have it. She wonders which one of you have it. She knows it makes her special and I hope she never has it surgically corrected. She also loves her belly button, because I have explained that it was her physical connection to you. She always says that her belly button is special and no one else can touch it. Sometimes she and I blow kisses in the wind to you. Do you feel those soft breezes against your cheek? I hope so. I long to be able to let you know that she is safe, warm, well-fed, healthy, cared for, and so, so loved. I ache for her to know a small piece of her history...to get one glimpse of you. But she will not. And so today I was feeling a bit melancholy, and thought once again that I will send some thoughts out in the universe to you, her first mother. I wonder if you are thinking about her, too.
